You Can Be Miserable Anywhere
Today I've taken a day to myself, letting the others to go off snorkeling without me, giving myself space to collect me thoughts and feelings. I've been feeling a little low lately - less bubbly than usual, like nothing is ever quite right - and I've been allowing my irritability to get the better of me.
At times like these I feel my resilience is depleted, my ability to bounce back from any setback is reduced. I become more rigid, demanding that my expectations are met, and then feeling harshly disappointed when they are not. It's been hard on my travelmates having to accommodate my moods and it's been even more difficult living inside my own head. At least my friends can get away, but I'm stuck with me!
Does this sound familiar? Everyone has bouts of irrational crabbiness sometimes. The state of our internal world can colour our experience so much that it seems our experience is actually reality, rather than our own subjective interpretation. It's those days when maybe your kids are getting on your nerves more than ever, or your friend just isn't giving you the response you were hoping for. Those days when the untidy living room that yesterday seemed like a cozy ode to the busy-ness of family life, today seems like a disgraceful testament to your lack of organisation. While outwardly nothing has changed, inwardly your perception is painting polar opposites.
These days come and go for all of us, some people cope with them more or less effectively, but they are part of the common human experience. "Yes, Cedar," you may be thinking, "but you're backpacking Thailand right now, how can you be so miserable?"
I've asked myself the same question and the answer I keep getting back is a phrase I once heard:
"You can be miserable anywhere".
Even on the beautiful beaches of Thailand with the sun on my face and the ocean beside me. Even after a good night out with friends. Even in the fresh morning with a whole day of opportunities stretching before me. I can still feel miserable.
Crazy, right? But it's the truth!
So what I take this to mean is that I have the option to choose how I feel, and I am responsible for my own experience. If I can be miserable anywhere, then I can also be happy anywhere.
Maybe easier said than done? It does take some effort and proactivity, but it is very possible.
I've learned that my resources do become depleted when I don't take time to pause, reflect, and regroup. Even with the best of intentions - "We're a travel team, we do everything together!" or "Let's take advantage of every adventure opportunity!" - being "on" or "amongst it" all the time eventually exhausts us, often without our realizing it, and the crabbiness creeps in.
The trick is to take that reflection time before we're forced to do so by our own swinging moods. Preventative, rather than curative medicine. Like taking our multivits every day, instead of breaking out the cough syrup once we're worn down.
But whether we take a dose daily or just now and then, life is better with a set of balms and salves to soothe our souls when things get rough. For me, it's journaling, meditation, yoga, and running. These practices never fail to ground and center me, to help me get off the hampster wheel of my mind and see the bigger picture.
Journaling is my medicine. Yoga is my medicine. Running is my medicine.
Sitting quietly and writing helps me solidify and examine my whirring thoughts, then clear them out. Moving my body helps me get back into my flow. Even just 10, 20, 30 minutes can make a night and day difference in replenishing our willingness to choose to be happy. Taking dedicated time for ourselves is a vital part of caring for ourselves, which in turn allows us to better care for those around us. It doesn't have to be momentous chunks of time, just frequent and dedicated.
What is your medicine? What fills you back up when you've run dry? What patches your holes when you've run ragged?
Wishing you peace, contentment, and a little chunk of medicine.
If you have any questions or comments, please leave a reply below. I read and reply to all!
Yours truly,
Cedar
