Embrace Your Season: Stop Struggling and Start Living Fully
You probably have some sort of plan for your life, the way you think things should go. Or at least the way you'd like them to go! But sometimes the things you think should be happening just...aren't.
What can you do when your circumstances refuse to line up with your plans? When the place you want to be isn't where you need to be right now? When the wrong opportunities keep popping up, or maybe the right opportunities at the wrong time?
You could do one of three things:
Carry on, resenting your circumstances.
Change your circumstances.
Change your expectations (while staying aligned with your values) and find more flow.
Well let's not even entertain the first option. Who wants to wake up resentful every day?
The second option, in reality, maybe or may not be an option. Are you actually willing to change your situation right now?
More often than not when we dig deep we find that, if we really wanted to, with hard work and creativity, we could change our circumstances. But sometimes we simply are where we are for the time being. Being "stuck" in our current situation is in fact a matter of choice, but we might not want to make the choice necessary to change the circumstances.
So we're left with the third option: change your expectations. Adjust your perspective to focus in on what you have here and now. Consciously choose to live fully, whatever your season.
Just as in nature there is a time to bloom and a time to regenerate, there are seasons in our lives as well. You can't go all in all the time, nor can you rest indefinitely, so there are times to prepare and to perform, times to move quickly and to bunker down. The seasons of our lives might last years, months or days, but one thing we can be sure of is that this season will change eventually.
There is a time and a place for everything, but what we want, or more likely what our egos want doesn't always coincide with what we have or what the universe is sending us.
The only problem here is that our own expectations don't match reality. As the meditation teacher and author Allan Lokos writes,
"Suffering usually relates to wanting things to be different than they are."
We don't need to wait to live a life of joy and gratitude. That moment is now.
So rather than struggling to force things into being something they're not, why not go with the flow? Easier said than done, right?
Don't worry, there are a few simple, yet profound steps you can take to help yourself get aligned and live more fully whatever season you're in. (To really get down to business, grab a pen and paper and journal this baby out.)
Acknowledge where you are right now
Often we go along in daily life feeling frustrated from moment to moment, not seeing the greater picture behind our feelings. It's easy to mistake the details of individual episodes of anger, frustration, and irritability as being stand-alone reactions, each situation separate from the last.
But maybe these spats are really part of a bigger pattern of feeling frustrated by so often having our expectations left unmet. Most of the time we don't even admit to ourselves what it is we expect, but we still feel frustrated anyway.
Recognising our circumstances and expectations for what they are allows us to deal with them more effectively. Recognition allows us to plan and act properly; acknowledgement allows us to relax and breathe more deeply as we let go of denial.
So what kind of season are you in right now? Looking at the different aspects of your life - relationships, work, physical health and fitness, mental and emotional well-being, are there any themes, any common threads? Can you put a name on this season?
Embrace your current season
So you've looked at where you are; you know where you stand. Now what do you do about it?
If you've been struggling against reality, feeling like you'd rather be somewhere other than here and now, don't beat yourself up. It's ok to have those feelings. Now you're aware of them, so you can deal and move on.
When eventually this season changes, you won't want to look back only to realise you missed something. Even if it might not feel like it, there are deep lessons to be learned and beauty to be seen exactly where you are.
What if you consciously decided to embrace this current season? What would it be like to go all in, to choose to be here, to live fully right now?
How can you live in a way that honours the values you hold, and that brings out the best in you - and thereby those around you - no matter what's going on?
Let go of attachment to control
Deciding to embrace our current season is half the battle. The other half is letting go of our attachment to expectations. A lot of effort goes into building up the pictures of how we think things should be and that can make it hard to release our grip on them.
Letting go might not be as simple as dropping a ball. It's often a practice, a process, two steps forward, one step back. Like clinging to a piece of cloth, we think we've let go, only to find ourselves still clutching a fistful when we're caught off guard.
When things get tough (and even when they're not!) remind yourself of this:
"This is not my forever. This too will pass."
This thought not only makes things bearable when we don't want to continue, but also allows us to be more present in the moment, taking notice of the details around us. When we're aware that this time is fleeting, each moment becomes more poignant, something worth savouring because of its transience, even if it's sometimes unpleasant.
Let go of what you think you should be doing or achieving right now. Give yourself permission to go with the flow and take in what the universe is giving.
Ask yourself, "What is coming my way right now? How can I best receive it?"
To quote Chris Prentiss, author of Zen and the Art of Happiness, in any trying situation, "...act as though whatever is causing the difficulty is for your maximum benefit. ...The Universe doesn't make mistakes."
Lather, Rinse, Repeat
One of the most difficult and most beautiful things in life is that we are always changing and so are our seasons. Getting clear on what season we are currently living is essential to embracing this time in a purposeful way, allowing us to live up to our greatest potential.
But just as our times are always changing, so we must always be evaluating. Whenever you experience a change in your life, or even at regular intervals, perhaps every few months, set aside a little time to ponder, mull, and journal on where you are, where you're going, and how you can make the most of it, embrace it, and live your fullest.
So what's your take on this? I'm curious to hear what you do to find flow in every season. What actions do you take or supports do you seek when things don't go your way?
Please leave a comment below or send me a message at www.facebook.com/fitreelife. I read and respond to everything!
Wishing you love and flow in your everyday.
Namaste, my loves.
